ON LONGING
by deetatarant
Summary: Just trying to justify Ianto's actions and the team's reactions to Cyberwoman... ONESHOT IANTO...JACK...OWEN.   HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS.


**ON LONGING**

"Well, that was an unmitigated disaster." Owen huffed as he slumped down into the visitors chair in Jack's office. "I mean, for fucks sake how the hell did we miss that?" He scrubbed his hands over his face, his anger long since dissipated and exchanged for horror and astonishment. "How did we not see what was going on right under our very feet, are we really that thick?"

Jack had no answer. He ducked his hand down to the draw at the side of his desk and pulled out a bottle of Scotch and two glasses. He held up the bottle in question and Owen nodded,

"Make it a large one Jack, I think I need it. Shit, I just can't believe what's happened."

Jack handed over a half full glass. "He deceived us, that is how we missed it. I'll say one thing for him; he's a devious little bastard. That is the first time someone has conned me like that in a very long time. Is it done?"

Owen emptied the glass in one swallow. "Yeah it's done, I shoved all three bodies straight into the incinerator. I didn't see the point in doing a post mortem it's pretty clear how they died. Anyway best place for them, don't you think?"

"Yeah, thank you Owen." Jack sat there staring into space and nursing the glass in his hands, he was at a loss.

"What should I do with him? The regulations dictate execution but somehow I think that would just be an easy way out for him."

Owen sank back further into his chair. "Maybe you should hold off making a decision, we're all running high on emotions and adrenaline right now, it would not be a good time to decide someone's fate. To be truthful Jack we are partially to blame for this."

Jack shot him a glare. "How the hell do you work that out?" He snapped.

"Well let's face it we didn't exactly welcome him and I never made any attempt to medically assess him when it was clear, in hindsight, that he was suffering from post-traumatic stress. I didn't do my job Jack and neither did you. We just used him because he was a convenient handyman, and I know full well he was keeping your bed warm at night. Much as I hate the fact that he lied to us and I will never trust him again, he was trying to save someone he thought he could save, someone he loved. I seem to remember struggling to come to terms with what was happening to Katie I can hardly blame him for what he tried to do."

"Katie wasn't likely to take over the world. I thought, no, I suppose you're right perhaps I used him as much as he used me. I was thinking that I would Retcon him. If I take away the last four years he will remember nothing of his time with Torchwood. Then we can just cut him loose." It seemed like the best idea as far as Jack was concerned. He never wanted to see Ianto Jones ever again.

Owen was shaking his head. "We can't do that Jack, you know that the larger doses of Retcon are extremely unreliable and would likely leave him with permanent brain damage. That kind of trauma is pretty impossible to remove without causing damage; you only have to look at what has been happening to the other survivors from Canary Wharf. Four of the ones that had been Retconned have already committed suicide. I know you're angry, I am as well, but I don't think that is the answer. He would be better off dead and I don't see the point in making him suffer unnecessarily."

"Isn't suffering the whole point of punishment?"

"I'm your second in command Jack, I am giving you my opinion. If you really want to punish him then leave him intact, allow him to learn from his mistake and deal with the memories. I know he's a twat and I will never like him but he is extremely useful and this place has been running more efficiently since his arrival. Revoke his security clearance and keep him working on the menial tasks until he can be trusted again."

Jack's shoulders slumped. "You just said that you would never trust him again, I am pretty certain that I will never be able to and how would you feel leaving him with Tosh or Gwen? Maybe I should just go down to his flat and put a bullet in his head, that's it, clean and quick, job done. Surely that's best for everyone?"

"You are not a murderer Jack and neither am I. We start behaving like those idiots at Torchwood One and that makes us no better and I know that we are all better than that. We need to show him that we are better than that, don't you think?" Owen wasn't certain that he believed his own words. "We never really made any effort. I think maybe it's time to change that. I never realised that Suzie was going mad, that she had become a murderer and now Ianto. I just think that we should give him a chance, Jesus, I can't believe I'm actually saying that. Just give him a chance Jack, or at least ask him what he wants. If he really wants the bullet then maybe, well…" He trailed off the last thing Owen wanted was another death certificate to fill out.

Jack abandoned his untouched whiskey and glanced out of the windows of his office and down into the Hub. Tosh and Gwen were cleaning up down there.

"You'd better go round to Ianto's house and check on him, you never know he may have done us all a favour and finished the job himself. If he hasn't, give him a check-up and call me. I will give him a month of unpaid suspension and I want you to refer him to a counsellor from UNIT, if we're going to give him a chance then we have to do it properly. Will that do? "

Owen nodded. "I don't think Tosh would let you do anything worse, she is the only one of us whose made any attempt to be his friend."

Jack was slowly shaking his head. "It wasn't just about sex Owen, I trusted him, I liked him and you know what?"

Owen shook his head.

"When I found out about that thing, I was jealous. He used me and I was jealous. Now whether or not you interpret that as my wounded pride or genuine hurt is up to you. I honestly thought Ianto and I had something. Now I don't even know whether or not he even wanted me, I'd like to think that not all of it was about deception but I am finding that very hard right now." He sighed, not knowing what really possessed him to tell Owen of this. "I suggest you go check on him, I shall send Tosh and Gwen home. We will dismantle the conversion unit tonight, I want it completely destroyed."

Owen got to his feet and looked down at his boss with a degree of pity. "Okay, I shall call you from Ianto's and let you know how he is. Do you want me to tell him about his suspension?"

"No, I will do it, that is my responsibility. I want to talk to him anyway."

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWWT

Owen was rather surprised by Ianto's house. It was an end terrace at the bottom of a tree lined street in Penarth, over-looking the Bristol Channel. He wondered how much it had cost and then absently recalled that as a Canary Wharf survivor Ianto would have received a substantial amount in Crown Compensation payouts. It was a beautiful house, though the garden was looking somewhat unkept. In the fading light of the day it held an almost romantic air about it and Owen considered the possibility that Ianto had chosen it in the hopes that Lisa would one day share it with him. Owen sucked in a deep breath and pushed the wooden gate open, it squeaked in protest and when Owen arrived at the front door a Siamese cat was sitting on the doorstep yeowling to get in. There were no lights on but Owen rang the doorbell anyway. No one answered, so he tried again as the cat impatiently rubbed at his ankles, Owen was tempted to nudge it away with his foot, he wasn't overly fond of cats.

"Get off you stupid animal."

The cat ignored him and still there was no answer at the door. Sighing, Owen pulled out the set of spare house keys that Jack had given him and let himself in. The cat shot between his feet almost sending him over and Owen whispered a curse as he stepped over the threshold.

"Ianto? You here mate?"

The silence was as unnerving as the empty darkened hallway and Owen reached out to the wall automatically searching out a light switch.

"I wouldn't bother, the power's been cut off."

Owen almost jumped out of his skin.

"Jeez, Ianto….. Fuck…. Whaddya mean the power's been cut?" Owen quickly collected himself and stepped in the direction of the subdued voice. Ianto was standing there, pale and gaunt faced, still in the clothes he had been sent home in the day before. He looked terrible.

"I forgot to pay the bill, they cut me off. Had other things on my mind at the time." Ianto lurched upright and turned away. "If you're here to do Jack's dirty work for him, you'll need to make sure the bullet goes in at the right trajectory, so it looks like suicide. Don't spose you've had to do one of these before." His Welsh accent was thick with alcohol and the air stank of booze and dried blood. Owen followed his colleague into the lounge which was bare but for the one chair in the middle of the room. There was a collection of beer bottles scattered around it.

"I'd offer you some coffee, but I haven't been shopping for a while either and I drank all the beer left over from….. well, I don't suppose it matters anymore really, does it."

Ianto sounded resigned as he sagged down into the chair. Owen stood before him and unslung his little medical pack, placing it on the carpet.

"I'm not here to dispatch you. I came by to see how you were holding up."

In the murky light Ianto's face took on a ghoulish quality. "I'm afraid your cat got…."

"Not my cat, it's Lisa's cat. I gave it to the neighbours weeks ago, but it keeps coming back here and as you can see I'm spiffing Owen, on top of the fucking world. Did you bring your gun?"

Owen grimaced. "Why do you ask?"

"I'd like to borrow it please." Ianto held out a shaking hand. "One bullet should do it, I'm too chicken to do it any other way. Don't want the pain, seen too much of that lately."

"No one is going to shoot you. So shut up and get those filthy clothes off so I can examine you." Owen tried his best not to snap angrily and failed miserably. Ianto launched himself to his feet and yanked off his clothes and stood naked over him. Owen sucked in a startled breath, even in this light he could see the damage Lisa had inflicted upon him, but more worrying was the obvious loss of weight, which had been carefully concealed beneath his suits. Feeling slightly uncomfortable Owen raised his bekaran scanner, he wasn't expecting to find anything but…

Shit.

It started beeping furiously as he waved it along the line of Ianto's neck. He studied the readings carefully for a moment and then ran the scan a second time, just to be sure. There was no mistaking the result. Owen took a cautious pace back.

"Get some fresh clothes on, I need to take you back to the Hub."

Ianto shot him a dirty look. "Why?"

Owen edged another pace away from him and pulled his gun from under his leather Jacket. "Because I really will shoot you, if you don't. Now do as I fucking say." He dropped the scanner to the floor and pulled out his mobile, speed dialling Jack without even looking. The call was picked up immediately.

"Harkness, get over to Ianto's now, we have a situation."

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWWTWTWT

Jack was never a subtle man and he simply kicked Ianto's front door off it's hinges before barging in, Webley and flashlight at the ready.

"We're in here Jack."

Jack cautiously edged down the hallway and into the lounge startled to find a naked Ianto with Owen standing across the other side of the room only visible because of the light from the street outside. Jack kept his gun trained on Ianto, ignoring the bare, darkened surroundings.

"What's going on Owen?"

"Yes I woul…" Ianto started.

"You shut up!" Jack cut him off.

Ianto stood quiet, shivering with cold.

"He's got cyber technology embedded in his neck." Owen replied, his gun still firmly pointed at Ianto.

"What!" Ianto demanded at the same time as Jack. Jack readied his pistol for firing, the end of the barrel coming to rest against Ianto's temple. Ianto flinched.

"Explain." Jack snapped, jabbing the weapon into cold skin and unyielding bone.

"Ow!"

Owen was shaking his head. "Shouldn't we just get him back to the Hub?"

"No. I want an answer Ianto." Jack's tone was deadly.

"I don't have one." There was no defiance in Ianto's reply, just a statement. "Just pull the trigger and get it over with."

Jack was sorely tempted, but something held him back. He reached out and grabbed Ianto's arm, forcefully spinning him round. "Not another word. You're going to go to your bedroom and get dressed, we'll deal with you at the Hub, now move!"

Ianto didn't see the point in resisting, he was well past the point of caring anyway.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWWTWTWTWWT

An hour later found Ianto Jones sat in the cell next to the one occupied by their resident weevil.

The rest of the Torchwood team were gathered in the conference area, watching Ianto through the CCTV monitor. Tosh and Gwen had been called back in and Owen had scanned the whole team, including himself.

"It's just him Jack. Judging by the scar tissue I'd say that thing has been there for about 7 months." Owen slid a printout across the table toward Jack, "It's bio mechanical and most definitely active, as you can see from the scans, it's attached to his spine with what look like filaments going into his brain. I'm going to need more time to study this."

Jack sighed. "Are you telling me that this happened the day Canary Wharf fell?"

Owen nodded. "I think so. Ianto was pretty shocked when I told him, I don't think he knew it was there."

"What's it doing there?" Gwen asked looking toward the monitor, Ianto looked utterly dejected, sitting there in track pants and T-shirt, nothing like the quiet, stoic man she had become used to.

"At the moment it appears to be dormant, what it actually does? Your guess is as good as mine."

"Tosh? Do you have any thoughts?" Jack asked as he read Owen's findings.

The Japanese woman looked thoughtful, she was studying the readouts coming from the sensors in the cell.

"I'm not sure, but if I didn't know any better I'd say it was something used as part of the conversion process. I think it is worth asking Ianto if he was about to be converted before the dimensional breach collapsed, if he was in a machine when it shut down, just not so far along as Lisa. Perhaps…. I don't know Jack. Right now the device is simply giving a low level pulse signal, but it certainly doesn't seem to be doing anything else. I can only speculate, but I suspect that the Cyber part of Lisa was communicating with him, through that device."

"Like some sort of control chip?"

"Yes."

Gwen looked from Tosh to Jack. "You mean the cyberwoman was controlling Ianto, getting him to do things for it?"

"It certainly explains how he was able to rig the life support unit and merge it with the Cyber technology. Ianto's bright, but he's no technician. It's quite possible that he was doing it, but believing he had a choice and under the circumstances it wouldn't have been difficult to get him to do what it wanted. He was adamant to the end that it was still Lisa." Tosh replied.

Jack was reluctant to agree, but he could not find fault in her logic. "Alright supposing that it is true, he still made a choice."

"Can we be certain of that?" Gwen wanted to know, she wanted any excuse not be angry with her fellow countryman.

Owen nodded slowly. "Yes, I think we can. His blood work indicates early signs of malnutrition, I'm surprised you didn't notice Jack, he's lost a lot of weight. I think there was a conscious choice on his part, he let himself go pretty badly for her."

"Yeah I'd noticed. He told me you were treating him for depression, so I figured it was being monitored and didn't pry further. I can assume that that was another lie?"

"Yeah."

"So how come our internal sensors didn't detect this thing inside Ianto?" Gwen demanded of no one in particular.

"Two ideas spring to mind, firstly the device is largely biological, so maybe when he first arrived here it was small enough to be missed. It certainly isn't apparent on his first medical. Secondly maybe Lisa put it there after he arrived, perhaps he had doubts and she had to prevent him from giving the game away." Owen replied. "The point of all this is, what are we going to do about it?"

Jack got straight down to it. "Owen, you work on a way to remove or destroy that thing, preferably without damaging Ianto. Gwen, I want you to contact UNIT and advise them that all remaining survivors from CW will need to be checked for similar devices. Do not under any circumstances mention the circumstances of our discovery, they do not need to know what Ianto did. Tosh do what you can to assist Owen. I shall go down and talk to Ianto."

TWTWTWTWTWTWTW

Ianto didn't so much as twitch when Jack called his name. Jack watched him through the transparent security door, silent debating with himself what to say. He had come down here with a bottle of water and decided that was as good a starting point as any.

"Do you need some water, Ianto?"

The man in question shook his head, but said nothing.

"Owen will need to remove that device from you, do you remember when it was implanted?"

Another shake of the head.

Jack huffed out an exasperated breath. "Speak to me Ianto. Do you remember when the device was implanted?"

"No." Came the clipped response.

"Did Lisa put it there?"

That got his attention and Ianto turned his head, glaring at Jack with narrowed eyes. "Oh, so now you decide its Lisa. What's with the questions anyway, why don't you just shoot me and dump me in the incinerator with her?" Ianto was seething with anger, but his voice remained deadly calm.

"Because that is the easy way out for you, I am not going to give you that and a tiny part of me would like to believe that you may not be entirely to blame."

Ianto rose to his feet, and to Jack he looked a pitiful sight, stripped of his neat veneer as he was.

"You ordered me to murder her, do you seriously imagine that I care anymore about blame? She was my future. There's nothing left."

"Do you really believe that?"

"It no longer matters what I believe. Just finish it, please Jack."

Jack shook his head, "That would be murder."

"It would be a kindness and I know underneath that façade you call Captain Harkness is Jack, who is compassionate and understanding."

Their eyes met and Jack sincerely wished they hadn't.

"Tell me what happened at Canary Wharf."

Ianto arched an eyebrow. "You're asking now?"

Jack nodded. "Tell me."

Ianto went back to the concrete bench and sat down, drawing his knees up to his chest. A silence between became like a chasm, disturbed only by the soft snoring of the weevil in the next cell. Jack waited for what felt like forever to him before Ianto finally spoke.

"I was frightened of those ghosts when they first came. There was just something not right about the whole thing and I'd seen a lot of weird shit up until then. This was just wrong. Ghosts do not keep regular time. I didn't know then about the sphere or the work going on in the top floor offices, so I went to Miss Hartman to express my concern that Torchwood didn't appear to be doing anything about it. I trusted her when she told me it was all in hand. One of them appeared in the flat I shared with Lisa and she was so excited because she thought it was her mother." Ianto faltered, sucking in a shuddering breath as the memories overwhelmed him. It took him some moments to realise that Jack was there beside him, proffering the bottle of water. Ianto took it and swallowed down half the contents of the bottle before handing it back. "Thank you."

Jack screwed the cap back on. "Go on."

"Lisa and I had an argument about it, she couldn't understand why I was so afraid, she even laughed at me when I said we had no business communing with the dead like this. I stole a portable scanner from work but it didn't tell me anything that made any sense. I got more scared as time went on. It was all over the news from around the world. Then that day came. You've seen the security footage. I'd managed to take one of them down when I was running up the fire escape to Lisa's office, but I got caught and then those Daleks appeared and they shot the Cyberman that had captured me, so I got away only to get captured again. I was taken to where they had those machines and I saw them cutting people up…. and they were screaming, the noise and the smell of burning flesh… I was put into of those machines and then everything went to hell. I didn't realise it at the time but whatever it was that that Doctor did, saved my life. I overheard some UNIT soldiers talking about it. You know the rest." Ianto bowed his head and Jack realised that tears were dripping from his face onto his knees. It took great force of will not to wipe them away. Ianto cried quietly as if not wanting to be heard, but his shoulders shook and one hand was raised to his temple.

Jack stood up, but Ianto wasn't finished.

"I knew about the device Jack… Lisa said it would help me understand how to do what I needed to do. I let her put it in my body, but when I asked her to take it out she refused. I think I knew then, but I helped her anyway."

Ianto could feel Jack's piercing gaze on him. "I'm not sorry for trying to save her, but I am sorry for hurting the rest of you and for Annie."

"Not Tanizaki?"

Ianto slowly shook his head. "Perhaps you should read the material I collected on him."

Jack understood. "We'll remove the device and then keep you here for observation."

"Then what?"

"You're on suspension for a month. The rest is up to you." Jack turned to leave the cell, but hesitated for a moment.

"I have to ask. Was it all a lie, Ianto?"

Ianto didn't look up. "No, and I have to live with that as well."

"Yes, you do, for what it is worth, I am sorry for your loss."

"Thank you, sir."


End file.
